CRAZY.
I am not.
not in bed
not on the street
not as a joke
and especially not when I'm serious
Why I get called crazy I will never know...
Patricia - "Someone once told me that if you think you are crazy, you are not. Seriously. That saved my life."
I understand that statement. Cause when someone tells you you are, you begin to believe them.. you believe the lies. You begin to question your self, your identity. But it's lies.
I AM NOT CRAZY!
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"Je t'adore," je le dit. Mais, il me regarde..."mais t'as crazy." Il rit. "You are crazy. So crazy."
Mi corazon, como le duele...
Disappointment was an understatement.
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Lonely is a state of mind. As humans we are social and crave to interact, yet are so shy. Rare is the person with many friends. I have to remind myself that there are other people who are going out alone. I am not the only one. I am not the only one searching.. looking for the promise lands..
People say that you have to be "brave" to go out alone. But indecisiveness annoys me. I can't stand it... waiting for someone else's opinion versus going with your gut instinct. I admire confidence. I admire people who know what they want and go for it...I find it rare and refreshing. My friends don't want to go out; they have boyfriends, or other priorities. I totally understand that and don't judge. But I am not going to let their lives dictate mine.
I go out. Alone.
Last weekend, I went out with a younger crowd and found myself annoyed at times. There comes a level of confidence that can only be found through experience. I felt old.
25 and I feel old.
Old and crazy.
-aeg-
10.12.10.21
